Rules are rules.

In the heated debate on divorce in Malta, I have a simple statement to say.

People who are pro-divorce should only get married by law and not by religion. Those who complain about the Church not allowing divorce should realise that if you are married by the Church, you have to abide by the Church's laws. Now I'm not one who's in favour of how the Church is run or anything but you can't expect it to bend its rules like that.

I believe that people married only by law are entitled to annulments, and that people married by the Church are only entitled to divorce in extreme cases. Otherwise, you're being a hypocrite by calling yourself a Roman Catholic and then doing something very, uh, un-Roman Catholic. And the Church already has enough hypocrites as it is.

It's that simple. And if you really think divorce is a very real possibility for you, you should consider your relationship before getting married at all.

Peace.

Home(?) away from home.

In a society dominated by close-mindedness and concern over what other people think all the time, I have finally stopped pretending, and came to the full realisation that I do not belong here.

The best way to describe Maltese culture with one word, in my opinion, would be: rigid. What's done is expected by and done for the public eye, out of fear of becoming a social outcast or simply being labeled as weird. So it's one continuous cycle of people repeating each other's actions over and over again, and for the natives who have spent all their lives in this country, it has become second nature where practically no thought has ever been given into it.

On a side note, there is this somewhat growing pressure of people wanting to be rebellious and original, but that too has become redundant with young people copying each other's methods of standing out, turning them into trends and fashion rather than lifestyle. You can tell that it's a pit full of fake and therefore temporary attitudes, giving off misleading and false characteristics covering up nothing more than a typical individual doing just what everyone else is trying to do. I don't believe that one can simply decide to be this new person one day and live this new lifestyle all of a sudden. Either you are that person from birth, where you've always been that way, always did certain things, or you're just trying to change to fit in, only to give up on the whole idea once it's gone out of fashion.

Back to the point, there are certain traits I possess which I inherited from the other side of the world which I cannot express in this society. Although it's all very hard to analyse, a portion of the blame goes to the Maltese language which is very limited, not only in vocabulary, but also in use of tone and emotion, and I believe you can only truly understand this if you didn't grow up here.

There are things that I find absolutely normal which people here would consider just plain weird. Elsewhere in the world people wouldn't give these things a second thought but here, probably due to the small size of this country, there is so much pressure put on you from people constantly on your back that they're always going to monitor you, and once you do something outside their rigid boundaries, there's officially something weird about you.

I am a very quiet person by nature, I'm an introvert by choice but I know how to speak up when I feel the need to. This has most likely been interpreted by a lot of people either as snobbery where people seem to think that I believe that I'm better than everyone else or as dislike towards the people I'm mostly quiet to.

This can sort of be illustrated in a way. Different people stand side by side in a row. Each person is very unique, with their own personal traits, hobbies, level of intelligence, and so on. In Malta, some of these people are faded out and don't exist, while a handful are set on bold and define the whole society. There is no one in between.

I am one of those people who stand in between, but don't exist here. I cannot express myself in certain ways because of close-mindedness which makes it hard for people to understand who I really am and what I do, coupled with the limitations in vocabulary.

It's been a decade and I've never really completely been myself here, and I never really will be, as long as I stay in Malta.

A classic revisted.

I've discovered a nice alternative to the cream cheese and olive sandwich.

A cream cheese and pickle (i.e. pickled cucumber) sandwich.

Step up to the mic.

I have my first presentation of this semester this Wednesday. For a while I convinced myself that I would have a beer or two to loosen myself up for the crowd. Almost everyone gets scared shitless up on the stage, you can see it in their shaking hands, you can hear it in their quivering voices.

Then I realised that if I were to have a drink prior to the presentation, I would have to do the same for the second one, and for the third one, and for future presentations. I'd eventually become too dependent on something unnecessary to have to carry out routine tasks, which basically defines an addiction.

Something which comes to mind is how the rock star cliche was brought up. Getting wasted all the time. Ozzy Osbourne's 2007 album "Black Rain" was the first album he ever recorded sober.

So the best thing to do is to man up and give it your best shot. The first time for anything always makes you nervous, it's just a matter of practising and growing accustomed to your situation as you encounter it over and over again.

Hopefully by the end of the year I'll be able to address a crowd without pissing myself. But I'll carry an extra pair of shorts, just in case.

Walk this way.

You know back in Manhattan where I grew up, every road was pretty much flanked with sidewalks. Wide ones too, like 2 car lanes wide each. That's understandable, considering the amount of people in the city at all times (the city that never sleeps, y'know?). And thank God for these sidewalks, without them mincemeat production in America would grow substantially. Every pedestrian uses them, no questions asked.

Pictured: The equivalent width of a Maltese road.

Here in Gozo it's a little different. While Malta has one of the, if not THE, densest populations in Europe, car lane-wide sidewalks are unnecessary in most villages. People mostly get around by car or bus, despite having the grocery shop and parish church just around the corner.

So, not that many pedestrians = many cars instead.

The people who do walk generally have sidewalks, provided they aren't trying to be bad-ass by walking from one village to another (yes you, middle-aged women). Now these sidewalks aren't wide but in my opinion are sufficient due to the small towns and villages. There is one problem, however.

Most locals don't, for some reason, think of a sidewalk as a, well, you know, a SIDEWALK. Nope, they just walk on the road right next to the sidewalk. My only theory for this is that people here tend to think of sidewalks as private property belonging to home-owners and that they don't want any trouble. So to avoid such trouble, they cause even more trouble by taking up half the Goddamn road, waddling their asses away like they're leading a marching band. If they hear a car approaching from behind, they can might as well moon you and take a crap right in front of you because they won't move for fuck-all. You just drive slowly behind them until the road widens or they enter a shop where you pass by and scream "USE THE DAMN SIDEWALK, THAT'S WHY IT'S THERE!".

A life saver. But fuck that, I'll just walk right in front of that oncoming garbage truck.

Sidewalk: (noun); walk consisting of a paved area for pedestrians; usually beside a street or roadway.

Reading between the lines.

Everybody knows the show South Park as that cheaply made cartoon, with the racist fat kid and that Kenny kid that dies all the time, which uses satire and dark humour to support their story-lines. The truth is, Trey Parker and Matt Stone offer us more useful life lessons than we'd ever learn in school or at home.

Sometimes the message is straightforward at the end of the episode when Kyle says "I've learned something today", and the main reason such lessons are taught through this controversial show and not through school is because a lot of the topics in question are, well, controversial. But we have to learn these things sooner or later right? Teachers and parents alike try to avoid them altogether and that's okay to a point, when children are still young and not mature enough to understand certain things. But sooner or later everyone's going to encounter controversy in life, and this has to be dealt with, with preparation through teaching. It is important to note that Matt and Trey are obviously not your average student councilors and they're not in the entertainment business mainly for teaching, but for us to laugh at Kanye West making love to a fish and feel bad for Oprah Winfrey's snitch.

Topics the show should be given credit for giving good points on include:

• Homosexuality tolerance ( "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride" and "Cartman Sucks")
• Giving people with disabilities unnecessarily embarassing and excessive limelight ("Conjoined Fetus Lady" and "Freak Strike")
• Oppressive Christianity ("Fantastic Easter Special" and "Cartman Sucks")
• People who claim they are psychic and can talk to the dead are doing more harm than good to people who have lost loved ones ("The Biggest Douche in the Universe")
• No matter who you vote for, you're going to be screwed one way or another ("Douche and Turd")
• Paris Hilton is an overrated good-for-nothing spoiled whore ("Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset")
• Most peace-promoters don't really do anything but group up and talk about peace without actually doing anything productive ("Die Hippie, Die)
• If a cure for HIV were actually found, it would probably only be available to people who could afford it and a lot of less fortunate people from poorer countries would die anyway ("Tonsil Trouble")

and so on. While I wouldn't recommend buying the complete South Park DVD box set for your 5-year-old, I will say that he'll still watch it online eventually and say "Hey, those guys have a point there!"

For Mr. Stone and Mr. Parker, class is still in session.