Surprise.

I left the equivalent of a wig on the hairdresser's floor.

25 random things

about me. This was copied from the Facebook thing that's popular with my friends right now.

And we're off.

1. If I had never moved to Malta I'd probably be a professional ice hockey player today.

2. I had a mullet from around the ages 8-10.

3. I'm 100% straight but I fully support gay rights.

4. Contrary to popular belief, I did NOT cry to the movie Titanic. I merely said that the song softened me up.

5. My mom banned my brother and I from watching Power Rangers after we fought so much when we were young.

6. I haven't officially been sick in at least 3 years.

7. I still bite my nails and I don't know what the hell is wrong with that as long as I don't bite them too short.

8. I like racist jokes as long as they're all in good heart, I'm not a racist whatsoever and I'd only say racist jokes with people who I know would not be offended and who understand that it's for the sake of a laugh among friends.

9. Sometimes I wish I could take up stand-up comedy, after being influenced so much by a number of comedians.

10. I think body modification is a great way for someone to express himself as an individual, and I plan on getting a lot more tattoos than the three I already have.

11. The first reason I chose to study business subjects from form 3 onwards was that I enjoyed picturing myself as a successful businessman in a suit driving a Mercedes.

12. I like Limp Bizkit, they were one of the first bands I ever listened to, even if I don't listen to them as much anymore. Sue me.

13. As a little boy, my favourite sound was a marching drum beat.

14. I'm extremely afraid of large masses of water, e.g. the ocean, sea, lakes. The reason? I watched Jaws when I was 8. And I love shark attack movies.

15. I believed in Santa Clause up until the age of 10. I never forgave my parents letting me learn the hard way.

16. I never went to pre-school. My parents wanted me to go straight to kindergarden so that, when we'd move to Malta, I'd be the same age as the Maltese students (there's an age difference of one year between America and Europe). But then I went to another school and they didn't let me stay a year younger than everyone else so I had to repeat the 4th grade in America. Now I'm a year older than my fellow students here in Malta, and I just tell everyone that I had to repeat a year when I moved to Malta to avoid the hassle of telling them what I just said now.

17. I hate being a hypocrite but sometimes I am one without wanting to.

18. I believe in God but I don't go to church because it's redundant and meaningless to chant the same shit over and over again every Sunday like a bunch of zombies who don't even know what they're actually saying.

19. I remember being scared shitless the first time I drank a beer. I was afraid of being drunk because I didn't know what it was like. It was with a few staff members from the first restaurant I ever worked at, but they couldn't tell I was scared.

20. I'm a Tom DeLonge when it comes to playing guitar. I don't play anything technical but I believe that I play what I know to play pretty well, and I doubt I'll ever proceed from playing power chords and simple yet catchy riffs.

21. I grew up watching Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, the Simpsons, wrestling and hockey. I still believed wrestling was real until the age of 10. Watching the Maury show made me realise that cheating on your partner is probably the worst thing you could ever do. The second worst thing is presenting yourself on the Jerry Springer show.

22. I've been obsessed with growing a goatee since 2003, when I first got into Linkin Park. Bad luck struck twice, the first time when I cut my chin which left a scar, the second time when I realised that the goatee was never going to straighten out no matter how many times I shaved it.

23. I love blogging, and I hope that someday, somehow, the returns (i.e. rewards, earnings, whatever) of my blogging will be greater than they are today.

24. I'm an extremely heavy sleeper. I could sleep at 8pm and wake up at noon the following day.

25. I love cats... and dachsunds!

Bathroom art II.

Behold, this is not a giant lollipop. Nope, it's our orange, green and brown showerhead. I think I'll call it... The Lollipop.

Second half.

There are three things which get you right back into the university lecture spirit after two weeks of exams:

• More lectures to cram in your timetable. Which is actually quite good for me because it means less time wasted in between lectures. And my Fridays are apparently (not 100% sure yet though) still going to be completely free.
• Clashes of subjects in timetable. I signed up for this subject worth 4 credits to add to my existing 56 credits in order to get the required total of 60. Thing is, it clashed with another one of the subjects, so I have to move the other subject to another day. And to do that, I have to move yet another subject to another time so that I can fit in the clashing subject in order to attend the extra subject.
• Lecturers not showing up and not informing us beforehand. Yep, out of the 6 lectures I expected to attend today, the last 3 never happened. As enjoyful as that sounds, I would have rather known about it before than not knowing about it, leading to over an hour wasted at the campus waiting for nothing.

Yes I'm back, but I'm sure you didn't really miss me much.

Hibernation.

Remember last week when I said I'll be taking a couple of days off until I found something to write about? Well that didn't really count 'cause I started blogging as normal right after. But now I shall do it 'till like Monday or something. Yes my exams are finished, but I need the creative juices to get flowing again.

Bathroom artwork.

If there's anything all three of us at the flat have in common, it's the reluctance to throw stuff out due to laziness. So we made the best of it and, for some reason, creativity is at its best in the bathroom (e.g. toilet prank, viewing booth). Here's the latest strike of genius to hit the infamous room.

Within a couple of months we'll be holding the record for the largest structure of its kind ever. And the record for the laziest people ever.

Berets and Baguettes.

Step 1: Go on Google.
Step 2: Type "French military victories".
Step 3: Click on "I'm feeling lucky".
Step 4: Click the link you're provided with.
Step 5: Say to yourself, "Hey, Malta wasn't that bad after all."

I wonder why Russell Peters never mentions the French. Or maybe he does. Time for some YouTube.

This is the only time

that a straight guy can be proud of owning something pink.

Unless you're this guy -

No dessert for you.

Ever wonder how your relatives, especially your parents, grandparents and aunts, always cook twice as much food as there's needed? And that they expect everyone to eat mammoth proportions for every course out of a 3-4 course meal? No matter how much you eat, they'll always think it's not enough. The funny thing is, they'll barely eat a fourth of what you eat and they'll say they can't possibly have another bite. Today my parents made two dishes of lasagne. Two. They had to freeze a whole one.

On another topic, I want to quote my friend Luke on something he said yesterday -


"Nothing is American... unless it's made in China."

The scum of the Earth.

Looks like I got inspired quickly. By something that's been bothering me for quite some time now, it just never occurred to me that I should blog about it.

This is going to be the most hate-filled rant I will ever write in this blog, because nobody on this planet can instill as much hatred in me as the members of the Westboro Baptist Church can.


The Westboro Baptist Church is based in Kansas, U.S.A. and focuses on taking the Bible literally and showing extremely high intolerance to homosexuality. They do this by waving slogans saying things like "God hates fags", "God hates America", "Thank God for dead soldiers" - the last one which was being used at funeral protests of fallen U.S. soldiers who, according to these sons of bitches, were "fag enablers" by fighting for America.


Imagine you're at a funeral, mourning the loss of a loved one, and this hate group comes by and starts shouting and saying how glad they are that he's dead. I swear to God I'd unveil a hidden shotgun and blow all their fucking heads off, even if I end up spending my life in prison or with a death sentence.

How these people think that they're capable of judging the rest of mankind is beyond me. Portraying God as a hateful leader who only favours them is ridiculous.

Well fuck you, Fred Phelps, you and the rest of your redneck family. Screw your anti-homosexuality, anti-Semitic, anti-Catholicism, anti-Islam, anti-Italian, anti-Swedish, anti-Irish (I'm not making these up) and anti-everything else in the whole damn world. You're by far the most hated family in America, and I'd enjoy blowing your head off in no time.

Writer's block. This time, for real.

Must be due to the exams and other bull, like losing my ID card and frustration from the delayed approval for my car insurance. So, instead of forcing myself to write some lame entry for the sake of writing something (wait, I'm doing that right now aren't I?), I'm just going to chill out for a couple of days until the exam "stress" dies down and I get inspired again.

Here, have a chat with this nice llama in the meantime.

I live with a couple of pussies.

They're always together, all the time. Day in and day out, it's the same thing over and over again. Where one goes, the other follows. What one does, the other copies. It's like one just can't cope without the other. Not that they do much anyway, everyday they do the same stuff, which is hardly anything.

It impressed me so much that I took a few photos of them doing what they do best, and they were so concentrated on doing what they do so often that they hardly even paid attention to me as I took the pictures.

Which is why I present to you, in all their shame...

...Salt and Pepper.

What, you didn't think I was referring to anyone else, did you?

Cleaning out the closet. Literally.

Have you ever checked the garage where your parents dumped all the old junk (I doubt your place has an attic), or an storage abandoned room and thought, "What the fuck is all this crap they used back then"?

Back in the day the junk was everyday normal stuff. Now they're all outdated and useless. So it makes one wonder, what do we use today that end up in the garage ten years from now? Imagine when you grow up and have a family of your own, you check out what trash you have and you find a Nintendo Wii, or an iPod, completely workable, but just outdated, sitting there with a thick layer of dust and maybe a dead moth on it.

Generation after generation has thought that nothing could possibly be better than the technology and commodities of its time, and each time it has been disproved. I wonder what video games, transport, PCs and mp3/mp4 players will be like when I'm 70 or 80. I'll be saying to my grandchildren, "Back when I was a kid we had iPods and Playstation 3s, not your hovering cars and mp7 players crap!"

Actually, when my generation grows old, the elderly will still have just as much knowledge as the younger generations, knowing just as well how to use computers and have the same interest in technology. Unless, of course, something else comes along, which surpasses everything beyond our knowledge, even more complex than what we're accustomed to, and we're stuck like our own grandparents, but instead of doing whatever the hell they do, we dish out our old iPods while the younger kids laugh at us.

Celebrate the end of your exams.

Mine aren't really exams, they're just tests which don't count for anything. But if you're currently doing exams which make you want to tighten that noose you set up in your room around your neck, relax and chill out with this:

Now that's my kind of lineup.

Tearjerker.

After seeing virtually everything there is to see on the internet (which is untrue, some new shit will spring up in no time), it takes a lot for a picture to emotionally strike me. However when it's related to war - more specifically, related to the losses one must suffer due to war, I feel that nothing can be as powerful as that image you see before you.

Like this one.

http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k7/Chris_Red/2007300819203863sj3.jpg?t=1232036107

Forming the ultimate band.

I get first dibs on the ukulele. Anyone wanting to play harmonica, kazoo or banjo contact me.

Sick sick sick.

Carsickness, seasickness, airsickness, we all know what those mean.

So how come when we want to say the opposite in other situations we use terms like "homesick" and "lovesick"? 'Cause when you break it down and analyse it, "homesick" kind of sounds like you're sick of being at home. It should be "away-from-homesick", but I guess the lazy bastards who developed the English language didn't feel like saying all of that.

And then there's the use of "sick" for showing that something is positive, e.g. "That's sick!" = "That's so rad/cool!". I myself say it sometimes, I admit. It's cool.

That's all I have to say about it, really. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this.

Here's a round for everyone.

So in Russell Peters' new DVD "Red, White & Brown", he passes a joke about how white people show that they're not cheap by buying everyone a beer.

He made such a good point by it that it makes me just want to say, You know what? I'm cheap, fuck off, I'm not buying the whole damn place a beer. It's not that I'm not nice, I'm just cheap. You can buy me a drink, I'll appreciate it, but don't expect me to buy you one right after.

If you're one of my best friends or my girlfriend, sure I'll get you a drink or two, but if I pass by a table of eight, six, or even four, don't even think about it. And let me tell you why, it's because I really feel that everyone does it so that they don't look cheap.

Well guess what. I'm cheap and I don't need to prove otherwise to anyone. Deal with it.

We'll make you feel right at home.

Because nothing is more convenient than our bathroom.



Especially when you have little plastic figurines paying to look at you the whole time you're in there.

You'll have the occasional Jo joining them every now and then.

That's how it would look from their view. Don't worry, I was just posing. For the record, I have my own "weird guy with the crazy stare and big forehead" (as described by Luke, referring to Mark Hoppus) looking back at them.


I'd like to draw the conclusion of this entry with a picture of an Indian man with titties. In a canoe.

Dancer? Denser? What are you saying, man?

Everyone's heard the song. Voted Best Song of 2008 by readers of Rolling Stone, the first single "Human" from The Killers' new album has got everyone singing those 2 lines: "Are we human?/ Or are we dancer?" while thinking "It's dancer, right? It doesn't make sense to me but hell, it sounds like dancer!"

The lyrics stirred up so much confusion that it even has its own section in Wikipedia now:

There has been considerable confusion and debate over the line "Are we human or are we dancer?" in the song's chorus. Many have incorrectly heard "denser" instead of "dancer", a change which significantly alters the interpretation of the song's meaning. On the band's official website, the biography section states that Flowers is singing "Are we human, or are we dancer?" and also says that the lyrics were inspired by a disparaging comment made by Hunter S. Thompson.

Entertainment Weekly's Pop Watch section called this line the "silliest lyrics of the week". They were puzzled by the interpretation, stating "most dancers are generally human". Ganz with Rolling Stone called the line "classic Killers' nonsense."

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Flowers said that he was irritated over the confusion: "It's supposed to be a dance song, [the beat] goes with the chorus...If you can't put that together, you're an idiot. I just don't get why there's a confusion about it."

Well, Mr. Flowers, I guess I'm an idiot. Me and a few million others. Despite stating where you got the inspiration from I still don't know shit about "Are we DANCER?". Even if it's metaphorical, shouldn't it be "dancers"? I know it must make sense in some way, so come on and tell us how.