Entertainment on the road.

The most modern buses in Malta have flat screen televisions in them. On these TVs, Smart TV advertises by showing normal people on the bus watching television programmes like the Guiness World Records, or a football match. That would be some pretty cool entertainment while riding public transportation, but I do have one question.

Just when the fuck are programmes ever actually shown? In my 45 minute bus ride from Cirkewwa to Msida I saw the same two things on the screen, over and over again. One was of the Smart TV advert, and the other was of Peppi Azzopardi killing a couple of cockroaches and mice for some pest control company. There's only so many times I want to see Peppi take off his gas mask and nod at me. Zero times.

If I were the driver I'd just remove the flat screen and keep it at home. It'll do everyone good, that shit was torture. Smart TV isn't so smart.

A warm welcome for Cupid for once.

This is the first Valentine's Day I won't be spending alone, which means I don't have to pretend that I'm okay with being single by saying how commercialised and pointless this day is. The truth is, it's nice to dedicate a day to a special someone even more than you would normally do on any other day. And you don't have to fall victim to the commercialism that's tied with it in order to show your partner just how much you appreciate everything he or she has done for you.

So I'd like to dedicate this blog entry to my girlfriend Debs and point out how thankful I am to her for staying by my side for these past seven months, being my friend and showing daily that she really cares a lot about me.

A Happy Valentine's Day to all.

It just got even better.

Right after the announcement of Blink 182's reunion, the other pop-punk giant Green Day released some new info on their highly anticipated new album, "21st Century Breakdown". Apart from revealing the new album's name, they also revealed its artwork.

Now personally I think it looks really emo and cliche but hell, I just care about the music. The album itself will be divided into three acts: "Heroes And Cons", "Charlatans And Saints", and "Horseshoes And Handgrenades". To me that sounds like American Idiot Part II, so it's evident that they're not going to return to their old roots as was hoped by some.

2009 looks like it's going to be dominated by the revival of pop-punk, as The Offspring will be touring America in support of their latest album "Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace".

As if this wasn't enough, something very unexpected just very recently happened. A band, who at one point had the world in its hands, has reformed to tour and record a new album. You'll never guess who. Ok maybe you did. I'm talking about Limp Bizkit. Yes, Wes Borland and Fred Durst have set aside their differences, stating that they "were more disgusted and bored with the state of heavy popular music than [they] were with each other".

I think... I jizzed in my pants.

Bon appétit.

When I used to watch cartoons as a little kid I used to see the food cartoon characters ate as really delicious-looking. Like, I wanted to try eating exactly what they ate to get that orgasmic effect they depicted on the screen.

Take Winnie the Pooh for example. The way he rolls around with that damn pot of "hunny" slurping loudly and going "yum yum" every two seconds.

Look at that tasty shit.

So naturally, being the annoying kid with the mullet I was, I begged my mom to let me try some honey. My first impression was that it looked nothing like in the cartoon. Real honey's like, transparent-y gold, while the animated version is obviously a plain shade of yellowish gold. But that didn't stop me. I grabbed a spoon, dunked it in the jar and rammed it in my mouth.

I gagged. Ran to the toilet. And threw up. I was so disappointed that I never looked at Winnie the Pooh again without thinking about what a betraying bastard he was.

Another example was the great Bugs Bunny. Those carrots looked so crunchy and delicious that Warner Brothers made them look like Cheetos rather than carrots. I grabbed a carrot from the fridge and bit off a large chunk.

Mmm dirt. The taste of soil still haunts me to this day.

Definitely not Cheetos.

There were times in other cartoons where the character would simply suck clean the meat from a drumstick. In real life you get all that nasty shit with the veins and goo and whatnot. A juicy steak never portrayed the annoyances of the outer fat. Everything from vegetables to meat to fruit looks a lot more delicious when it's animated.

Parents are always upset with their children for not eating their greens. Well, I say blame the cartoons for tricking these kids and leaving them with permanent childhood disappointment which only subsides after ten years when you finally decide to put the past behind you and try to eat your broccoli.

The best news in music history.

February 8, 2009 is the day every single Blink-182 fan has been waiting for since early 2005. At Sunday’s 51st Annual Grammy Award Ceremony, all three members of Blink-182 were reunited on stage for the first time in over four years to present the award for Best Rock Album. Coldplay won for "Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends" and that’s all well and good, but the real news came just moments before when the band took the stage.

In response to the performance by the Jonas Brothers and Stevie Wonder right before them, co-lead vocalist and bassist Mark Hoppus joked, "Isn’t it great to see the Jonas Brothers and Stevie Wonder back together again?" Drummer Travis Barker then added, "We used to play music together, and we decided to play music together once again." Excitedly, Hoppus yelled, "Blink-182 is back!"

But if that wasn’t proof enough, the band decided to make things a little more official and released the following statement on their website:

"Hi, we're blink-182. This past week there've been a lot of questions about the current status of the band, and we wanted you to hear it straight from us. To put it simply, we're back. We mean, really back. Picking up where we left off and then some. In the studio writing and recording a new album. Preparing to tour the world yet again. Friendships reformed. 17 years deep in our legacy. Summer 2009. Thanks and get ready..."

The last new music we’ve heard from the Blink-182 was 2003’s self-titled album. The last time the band performed together was on December 16, 2004. Since splitting up in 2005, bassist Mark Hoppus and drummer Travis Barker created Plus 44 while guitarist Tom Delonge founded Angels & Airwaves along with former Box Car Racer band mate David Kennedy.

So where does this leave the projects that Mark, Tom, and Travis have been working on since taking a break from Blink-182? Plus 44’s future is still uncertain; however, Mark Hoppus spoke with MTV last month and informed them that both he and Travis Barker are working on their own solo projects. Also, guitarist David Kennedy of Angels & Airwaves reassured fans that while Blink-182 is coming back, Angels & Airwaves will live on and that this "will be a good creative year."

Courtesy of Ultimate-Guitar.com

Perseverance.

Because no matter how many times you try, sometimes your best just will never be enough.

You're welcome.

No matter who I'm with, people always say the same thing when we're on the Gozo Channel ferry. You know how the automated message on the speakers thanks us for choosing to use Gozo Channel's services? The whole message is like 5 minutes long, but everyone will only notice and comment on the last part, when we're thanked. That's when everyone says the same thing.

And I'm going to say it again.

"They thank us for using Gozo Channel, yet in reality we use their services because we don't really have any other choice. They should start thanking us when they actually get some, you know, competition."

Now imagine one day you're on the ferry and your friend says that. The next time you're on, your dad says that. The next time it's another friend. Then you're uncle. Then some priest. Then some friend's uncle.

It's not funny anymore, we get it.

Surprise.

I left the equivalent of a wig on the hairdresser's floor.

25 random things

about me. This was copied from the Facebook thing that's popular with my friends right now.

And we're off.

1. If I had never moved to Malta I'd probably be a professional ice hockey player today.

2. I had a mullet from around the ages 8-10.

3. I'm 100% straight but I fully support gay rights.

4. Contrary to popular belief, I did NOT cry to the movie Titanic. I merely said that the song softened me up.

5. My mom banned my brother and I from watching Power Rangers after we fought so much when we were young.

6. I haven't officially been sick in at least 3 years.

7. I still bite my nails and I don't know what the hell is wrong with that as long as I don't bite them too short.

8. I like racist jokes as long as they're all in good heart, I'm not a racist whatsoever and I'd only say racist jokes with people who I know would not be offended and who understand that it's for the sake of a laugh among friends.

9. Sometimes I wish I could take up stand-up comedy, after being influenced so much by a number of comedians.

10. I think body modification is a great way for someone to express himself as an individual, and I plan on getting a lot more tattoos than the three I already have.

11. The first reason I chose to study business subjects from form 3 onwards was that I enjoyed picturing myself as a successful businessman in a suit driving a Mercedes.

12. I like Limp Bizkit, they were one of the first bands I ever listened to, even if I don't listen to them as much anymore. Sue me.

13. As a little boy, my favourite sound was a marching drum beat.

14. I'm extremely afraid of large masses of water, e.g. the ocean, sea, lakes. The reason? I watched Jaws when I was 8. And I love shark attack movies.

15. I believed in Santa Clause up until the age of 10. I never forgave my parents letting me learn the hard way.

16. I never went to pre-school. My parents wanted me to go straight to kindergarden so that, when we'd move to Malta, I'd be the same age as the Maltese students (there's an age difference of one year between America and Europe). But then I went to another school and they didn't let me stay a year younger than everyone else so I had to repeat the 4th grade in America. Now I'm a year older than my fellow students here in Malta, and I just tell everyone that I had to repeat a year when I moved to Malta to avoid the hassle of telling them what I just said now.

17. I hate being a hypocrite but sometimes I am one without wanting to.

18. I believe in God but I don't go to church because it's redundant and meaningless to chant the same shit over and over again every Sunday like a bunch of zombies who don't even know what they're actually saying.

19. I remember being scared shitless the first time I drank a beer. I was afraid of being drunk because I didn't know what it was like. It was with a few staff members from the first restaurant I ever worked at, but they couldn't tell I was scared.

20. I'm a Tom DeLonge when it comes to playing guitar. I don't play anything technical but I believe that I play what I know to play pretty well, and I doubt I'll ever proceed from playing power chords and simple yet catchy riffs.

21. I grew up watching Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, the Simpsons, wrestling and hockey. I still believed wrestling was real until the age of 10. Watching the Maury show made me realise that cheating on your partner is probably the worst thing you could ever do. The second worst thing is presenting yourself on the Jerry Springer show.

22. I've been obsessed with growing a goatee since 2003, when I first got into Linkin Park. Bad luck struck twice, the first time when I cut my chin which left a scar, the second time when I realised that the goatee was never going to straighten out no matter how many times I shaved it.

23. I love blogging, and I hope that someday, somehow, the returns (i.e. rewards, earnings, whatever) of my blogging will be greater than they are today.

24. I'm an extremely heavy sleeper. I could sleep at 8pm and wake up at noon the following day.

25. I love cats... and dachsunds!

Bathroom art II.

Behold, this is not a giant lollipop. Nope, it's our orange, green and brown showerhead. I think I'll call it... The Lollipop.

Second half.

There are three things which get you right back into the university lecture spirit after two weeks of exams:

• More lectures to cram in your timetable. Which is actually quite good for me because it means less time wasted in between lectures. And my Fridays are apparently (not 100% sure yet though) still going to be completely free.
• Clashes of subjects in timetable. I signed up for this subject worth 4 credits to add to my existing 56 credits in order to get the required total of 60. Thing is, it clashed with another one of the subjects, so I have to move the other subject to another day. And to do that, I have to move yet another subject to another time so that I can fit in the clashing subject in order to attend the extra subject.
• Lecturers not showing up and not informing us beforehand. Yep, out of the 6 lectures I expected to attend today, the last 3 never happened. As enjoyful as that sounds, I would have rather known about it before than not knowing about it, leading to over an hour wasted at the campus waiting for nothing.

Yes I'm back, but I'm sure you didn't really miss me much.

Hibernation.

Remember last week when I said I'll be taking a couple of days off until I found something to write about? Well that didn't really count 'cause I started blogging as normal right after. But now I shall do it 'till like Monday or something. Yes my exams are finished, but I need the creative juices to get flowing again.

Bathroom artwork.

If there's anything all three of us at the flat have in common, it's the reluctance to throw stuff out due to laziness. So we made the best of it and, for some reason, creativity is at its best in the bathroom (e.g. toilet prank, viewing booth). Here's the latest strike of genius to hit the infamous room.

Within a couple of months we'll be holding the record for the largest structure of its kind ever. And the record for the laziest people ever.

Berets and Baguettes.

Step 1: Go on Google.
Step 2: Type "French military victories".
Step 3: Click on "I'm feeling lucky".
Step 4: Click the link you're provided with.
Step 5: Say to yourself, "Hey, Malta wasn't that bad after all."

I wonder why Russell Peters never mentions the French. Or maybe he does. Time for some YouTube.

This is the only time

that a straight guy can be proud of owning something pink.

Unless you're this guy -

No dessert for you.

Ever wonder how your relatives, especially your parents, grandparents and aunts, always cook twice as much food as there's needed? And that they expect everyone to eat mammoth proportions for every course out of a 3-4 course meal? No matter how much you eat, they'll always think it's not enough. The funny thing is, they'll barely eat a fourth of what you eat and they'll say they can't possibly have another bite. Today my parents made two dishes of lasagne. Two. They had to freeze a whole one.

On another topic, I want to quote my friend Luke on something he said yesterday -


"Nothing is American... unless it's made in China."

The scum of the Earth.

Looks like I got inspired quickly. By something that's been bothering me for quite some time now, it just never occurred to me that I should blog about it.

This is going to be the most hate-filled rant I will ever write in this blog, because nobody on this planet can instill as much hatred in me as the members of the Westboro Baptist Church can.


The Westboro Baptist Church is based in Kansas, U.S.A. and focuses on taking the Bible literally and showing extremely high intolerance to homosexuality. They do this by waving slogans saying things like "God hates fags", "God hates America", "Thank God for dead soldiers" - the last one which was being used at funeral protests of fallen U.S. soldiers who, according to these sons of bitches, were "fag enablers" by fighting for America.


Imagine you're at a funeral, mourning the loss of a loved one, and this hate group comes by and starts shouting and saying how glad they are that he's dead. I swear to God I'd unveil a hidden shotgun and blow all their fucking heads off, even if I end up spending my life in prison or with a death sentence.

How these people think that they're capable of judging the rest of mankind is beyond me. Portraying God as a hateful leader who only favours them is ridiculous.

Well fuck you, Fred Phelps, you and the rest of your redneck family. Screw your anti-homosexuality, anti-Semitic, anti-Catholicism, anti-Islam, anti-Italian, anti-Swedish, anti-Irish (I'm not making these up) and anti-everything else in the whole damn world. You're by far the most hated family in America, and I'd enjoy blowing your head off in no time.

Writer's block. This time, for real.

Must be due to the exams and other bull, like losing my ID card and frustration from the delayed approval for my car insurance. So, instead of forcing myself to write some lame entry for the sake of writing something (wait, I'm doing that right now aren't I?), I'm just going to chill out for a couple of days until the exam "stress" dies down and I get inspired again.

Here, have a chat with this nice llama in the meantime.

I live with a couple of pussies.

They're always together, all the time. Day in and day out, it's the same thing over and over again. Where one goes, the other follows. What one does, the other copies. It's like one just can't cope without the other. Not that they do much anyway, everyday they do the same stuff, which is hardly anything.

It impressed me so much that I took a few photos of them doing what they do best, and they were so concentrated on doing what they do so often that they hardly even paid attention to me as I took the pictures.

Which is why I present to you, in all their shame...

...Salt and Pepper.

What, you didn't think I was referring to anyone else, did you?

Cleaning out the closet. Literally.

Have you ever checked the garage where your parents dumped all the old junk (I doubt your place has an attic), or an storage abandoned room and thought, "What the fuck is all this crap they used back then"?

Back in the day the junk was everyday normal stuff. Now they're all outdated and useless. So it makes one wonder, what do we use today that end up in the garage ten years from now? Imagine when you grow up and have a family of your own, you check out what trash you have and you find a Nintendo Wii, or an iPod, completely workable, but just outdated, sitting there with a thick layer of dust and maybe a dead moth on it.

Generation after generation has thought that nothing could possibly be better than the technology and commodities of its time, and each time it has been disproved. I wonder what video games, transport, PCs and mp3/mp4 players will be like when I'm 70 or 80. I'll be saying to my grandchildren, "Back when I was a kid we had iPods and Playstation 3s, not your hovering cars and mp7 players crap!"

Actually, when my generation grows old, the elderly will still have just as much knowledge as the younger generations, knowing just as well how to use computers and have the same interest in technology. Unless, of course, something else comes along, which surpasses everything beyond our knowledge, even more complex than what we're accustomed to, and we're stuck like our own grandparents, but instead of doing whatever the hell they do, we dish out our old iPods while the younger kids laugh at us.